This is your brain. (Holding up one large uncooked egg)
This is your brain on motherhood. (Egg cracked into hot frying pan.) Popping and sizzling ensues.
This Is Your Brain On Motherhood...overeasy and scrambled all at the same time.
People told me that when I got pregnant I would get stupid. While I certainly have my “blond moments”, I have always thought of myself as a relatively intelligent person, so on one hand I figured losing a few brain cells was no big deal since I had some to spare. When I lost my job and stay home people said I would get stupid. They said that I would forget how to have adult conversations and when I did, I would fall into baby talk. They said my mind would turn to mush and I would go crazy. Fast forward three years and I can still carry on a coherent conversation, even though it is usually about my kid. I am not big on baby talk to begin with, so I think I am in the clear on that one. I think it is pretty apparent that I was already crazy before I had a kid and as far as my mind being mush? Well, more like a well ripened banana at this point. It seems as though my memory is the real casualty. I sometimes think I need to pin notes to the front of my shirt that say, “Dear Checkout person at Publix, Please, tell me I need to buy bread…and don’t let me walk away without it after I buy it.” I should also include a note that asks them to remind me to use my coupons and did you get ricotta cheese so you can make lasagna tonight? Because most times I go to the store for 3 things and I walk out with a cart full of things I didn’t intend on buying and forget the three things I went there for. I also often stand in front of the cabinets knowing I went to get something and simply cannot remember what. The upshot is sometimes while I am staring aimlessly at the cabinets trying to figure out what I went there for, I realize I put the milk in there instead of the fridge.......
Let’s not forget to mention who my company is all day. When you surround yourself with a kid whose focus is how to get a treat without eating their grilled cheese and grapes, twirling around in a princess dress while singing to herself, you tend to get a little batty. Then there is the incessant calling of your name, usually for no reason. Finally, I think I could probably complete a task or remember to take the dogs out if I wasn’t always on high alert waiting for something to break, "A" to fall or for "A" to open the door and run out to the sidewalk and start rolling around in the grass. Of course, this usually happens when it is raining, I have a white tank top with no bra on or both, so I am hoping that me screaming "A" get back here! does not prompt the neighbors to look out their door.
BUT... I’ve gotta say, TV tops the list as main cause of brain degeneration. I really appreciate some of these shows for their creativity, ability to teach my kid and give me a chance to make dinner, like WordWorld, but some of the other ones just rot the brain...both my kid and mine. For example, Yo Gabba Gabba, Wow Wow Wubzy (the names alone indicates you will get stupider after watching them) and Backyardigans. Whatever the cause of my ditziness may be, at the end of the day I am “fried.” (see 1980’s Say No to Drugs commercial reference above). It took me awhile to write this blog because I couldn’t remember all the things I forget on a regular basis. Of course, I am sure it doesn’t help that my coping mechanism for the insanity is drinking wine after my kid goes to bed.
But hey, what are a few more brain cells, right? I’ll just blame it on the hormones.